We welcomed our sweet Gracie girl into our family today. Gracie Mae Nicholas, we love you and are so thrilled God entrusted your life to us! What an honor. 

MY plan, MY big picture was always to have a son and a daughter in that order(which I have)I honestly never wanted 3 kids. I was happy with my nice little family that I had dreamed of all wrapped up in a nice bow. I always felt like if I had 3 I would have to have four because odd numbers bug me. And there was no way 4 was on my radar. We went about life, loving these two kids God had given us all the while tossing around the idea of fostering. I was kind of ok with only talking about it at first and relieved when another fostering class was full or it didn’t work with our schedule. See my husband has to always gently nudge me out of comfort. Comfort is for me what it is for us all, a safe, secure place. I liked how my comfy family looked and operated. Fostering meant too many unknowns and a possible roller coaster of emotions and heartbreak. And who wants to sign up for that? 

Once we moved to VA we met several people who had been fostering and felt it was time to put action steps to our words. And so we began the process(a little hesitant on my part, because, well, my comfort and all.)

In May 2018, a sweet little girl showed up on our door and we haven’t been the same since. We have had a great fostering experience with a few bumps along the way but nothing major like some foster parents experience. So fostering was step 1. Step 2. They approached us about adopting. Of course our immediate answer was yes and then I continue to think of all the ways this will change OUR plans. I calculate how old Jason and I will be when she graduates high school(we are no spring chickens here), I calculate how old her grandparents will be, I think of how old I will be when she starts Kindergarten, I think of going to playgrounds and petting zoos again because we haven’t done that in 10+ years. I over think about it all. Obviously! 

But then I also thought, in 4 years our daughter Jada will graduate high school, go to college and we will then be “Empty Nesters??” Umm what? 

What would we do with ourselves? I honestly can’t imagine how different our lives would look and honestly, I feel a little too young to have that title! Ha! But adopting a baby means starting the WHOLE process of raising another child again. I wasn’t sure we were up for that either? I wanted to be, prayed I could be, but I knew it would be a process of dying to my selfish self. With almost seeing the finish line of getting Jonah and Jada through school, here we stand with with a huge life changing decision.

When I look at Gracie and see how God has woven her into our story and how he has a plan so big for her that I can’t begin to see, all the thoughts of how this affects me/us, they all seem to melt away. He is sovereign and knows exactly what He’s doing and He’s writing her a beautiful story. Our answer was always yes but yes, doesn’t mean there’s not a struggle in the process. We are choosing to surrender (our word for the year, isn’t God funny) a life that we had all planned out to say Yes God, wreck all our plans in the best way because you know what we need even if we don’t. 

Gracie Mae has filled our home with a joy we didn’t even know we needed and that is Gods exceedingly abundantly more than we could have asked. She makes us play again and sees everything as new and exciting and wonderful! I can’t wait to watch her grow! 

So I guess the point of my forever long story is to say raise your hands in joyful surrender, even after you have gone through every possible scenario, rhyme or reason, surrender to Him. Just do it! He formed you, loves you, fights for you and wants the best for you even if that may look different than what you think. Be open to him and the life he has planned JUST for you! There’s no way you’ll regret it! 

Brandi Nicholas